An End To The Distance Read online

  AN END TO THE DISTANCE

  Sophie Carob

  ~CONTENTS~

  One

  Two

  Three

  Four

  Five

  Six

  Seven

  Eight

  Nine

  Ten

  Eleven

  Twelve

  Thirteen

  Fourteen

  Fifteen

  Sixteen

  Seventeen

  Eighteen

  Nineteen

  Twenty

  Twenty One

  Twenty Two

  Twenty Three

  Twenty Four

  Twenty Five

  Twenty Six

  Twenty Seven

  ONE

  PEYTON was pulled out of her dark sleep when her phone buzzed. She hit snooze before rolling over to find her roommate, Tegan sleeping in the other bed, knees cradled to chest and hands in a prayer position. Peyton's eyes looked out the window at the morning sky before fluttering her eyes back shut. The second time she woke up, she was startled. Her phone was right beside her pillow and blasted the alarm right in her eardrum. Her eyes flickered to the other side of the room at Tegan who had been undisturbed by the sound. She knew they were running late but didn’t want to disturb the young forward. Instead of whacking a pillow at Tegan’s head like she normally did, she simply padded her bare feet for the bathroom to take a shower. Cold beads of water slid down Peyton’s body and she arched her back adjusting to the temperature. She rested her forehead against the tile shower. The water caused goosebumps to appear all throughout her body. Peyton liked the cold; it mirrored how she felt inside. She just stood there, forehead pressing up against the wall, eyes squinted shut as she concentrated hard and told herself not to think about. You were doing so well. Don’t think about it. Don’t. You’re strong. Peyton bit her lip hard enough to draw blood letting a groan of frustration escape her lips. Usually she could fight off the urge to cry but after yesterday, it was back to ground zero. She lazily turned the nob of the shower and stepped out, wrapping herself in a white clean towel. She stared at herself in the mirror and chuckled but there was no humor behind it. It was hard not to feel sorry for herself. I mean, look at that pitiful face. But no, Peyton was strong. She put the thought in the back of her head like she did daily and continued on with her life as if her heart wasn’t shattered. She put on her homeless gear of army green sweat pants and a black flag t-shirt and brushed her teeth before unlocking the bathroom door and walking back into her bedroom. It all looked the same. Tegan’s sleeping position had changed but that was about it. She opened the blinds, letting the bright sun scan Tegan’s freckled face.

  “Rise and shine!”

  Tegan flickered her eyes, adjusting to the brightness before opening them completely.

  “Ew. Sun. Must. Go. Back. To. Darkness.”

  Tegan pulled the comforter over her head and tossed around in her bed.

  “Teegs, wake up. We have class to go to.”

  “Your point?”

  Tegan muffled through the covers.

  "You're failing French."

  Tegan furrowed her brows in her pillow.

  "Dix minutes de plus s'il vous plait. I am at the top of my class."

  Peyton grabbed her longboard from underneath her raised bed while shaking her head.

  "Your toaster strudels are on your desk. They suck when they are cold and those were the last two."

  PEYTON ended up leaving Tegan to her warm bed and cold strudels, walking to class alone. She tapped her pencil, drawing mindless drawings in her notes, completely tuning out her professor’s lesson. She couldn’t think straight right now. Or she couldn't think gay for that matter either. Seeing Kat on television yesterday was nerve racking. She nearly went into cardiac arrest in the lounge room when she saw her face. She hadn’t seen her in so long, she was starting to forget the very own features of her face. Her blinding smile, piercing blue eyes, the way her eyebrows told every emotion she was trying to hide. She clenched her jaw, her face wincing, trying her best not to think about it but she just couldn’t. The caption on the television alone made her want to jump off a cliff. Kat Terranis returns to the United States. It had been two years. Two years, one month, eleven days and—Peyton checked her watch—nine hours since Kat moved across the country to go play professional handball. She was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that her girlfriend, the woman who once said she would never leave her side, had left her. Peyton couldn’t talk to anyone. Not her friends, not her family. No one knew how badly she struggled with her identity. No one but God and God had betrayed her. God took the only thing precious in her life away from her without reason. She didn’t know who to blame and she sure as hell wasn’t going to blame herself so she blamed God; for her aching heart, her excruciating headache after crying too hard, her lost in all her faith. She didn’t understand why He had done this to her. She didn’t deserve any of this. She prayed and prayed for Him to send her some answers as to why this had happened. But nothing. She prayed for Kat to come home and for her doorbell to ring and it would be Kat saying she got some sense knocked back into her but reality stung like a bitch and Peyton’s entire demeanor changed to helpless girl who laughed to keep from crying. She finally figured God got tired of her and decided to give up.

  He’s obviously not taking any more prayers from me.

  PEYTON’S next class wasn’t until high noon. It was 9:50 when she got out of her computer technology class that she desperately dreaded. Peyton and Tegan headed to the nearby coffee house; Peyton riding her long board, Tegan riding her bike. They parked their transportation items in the necessary place and headed inside to grab their tea and latte and sit at their favorite booth in the back. Tegan stirred the straw in her latte, parting her lips to speak before quickly shutting them. She tried again and this time words came out.

  “So um, have you been watching the news?”

  Tegan began watching Peyton carefully. She shifted in her seat and clenched her jaw.

  “If that's your way of asking me if I saw that Kat is back in America, then yes.”

  Tegan dragged her teeth across her lips and took a nervous sip of her drink.

  "Are you okay?"

  "It's not like she's attending school here. Probably won't even see her."

  "What makes you say that?"

  Peyton laughed humorlessly.

  "Teegs, Kat dropped us like a sack of potatoes. I highly doubt the first thing on her list to do on her return to American is to reunite the three amigas."

  "She could. We were her only friends."

  "Well now she has an entire country that wants to be her friend. We're nothing but the people in her past."

  "She could still come see us."

  "It's hard for a leopard to change its spots."

  "Okay, enough with the idioms. I get it. Kat is a bitch."

  Tegan used the awkward silence between her and Peyton to sip her latte and stare out the window. She understood why Peyton acted so bitter whenever the mentioning of Kat came up but Peyton was starting to adopt that mood as her personality and it was beginning to bring Tegan down as well. Peyton lost her girlfriend in the most tragic way possible but at the same time, Tegan had lost both of her best friends. It was hard on Tegan, to pretend like she was okay so she could take care of Peyton who was in her darkest hour but she also needed to mourn as well.

  "On a happier note, we have practice."

  Peyton scoffed in disgust and wrinkled her forehead. Handball didn't equate happiness. It only served as a constant reminder that Kat had betrayed her. Going to practice felt more like a chore than something Peyton would normally enjoy. Peyton sipped her tea a
nd stared out the window and sighed, wishing her life was as simple as the multi-colored leaves that fell carelessly from the trees only to wither away into nothingness.

  Peyton, sweet Peyton,

  It kills me that I have to tell you this wish I could’ve told you this in person but I couldn’t bear to see you so upset so I decided to write it. The city recruited me. In my contract, I can't have any ties as far as my relationship status. My agent feels it would be the best for both of us if I am seen as a heterosexual player. I leave for Finland tonight. Don't bother trying to come and stop me. I wish you the best in college and your journalism career. I am positive that you will be the best. I hope you will come to realize that I am only following my dreams. I never meant to hurt you and I’m sorry it had to end like this, I really am. My flight is leaving at eight tonight. Don’t bother trying to come and stop me.

  I will always love you,

  Kat

  TWO

  TEGAN’S high ponytail sashayed from side to side as she walked briskly to her favorite class. She knocked on the door using one hand while she held a hot cup of coffee in the other.

  "It's open!"

  She heard a faint voice call from inside. Tegan twisted the door and walked in to find the one and only, Professor Dennings resting her elbow on the podium while reading some novel that Tegan probably wouldn't give the time or day but she would read it front to back twice if it meant a future conversation with Jasmine Dennings.

  "Good Morning."

  Jasmine could see Tegan out of her peripheral but chose not to acknowledge the young woman; hoping her silence would tell Tegan everything she didn't feel like saying. After Tegan stood there dumbly and silently with what Jasmine assumed was another cup of coffee for her, she finally gave up and decided to respond.

  "Mornings aren't ever good, Miss Flint. Please take a seat."

  "Well yes. Yes they are. Good comes from the German word of Tagwerk which means a good day's work. The sunrise would stand for the ox who plowed for the day and never gave out of breath."

  Jasmine glanced up from her book to raise her eyebrows at Tegan before glancing back to her page. Tegan stepped forward, leaning over to see what Jasmine was reading.

  "Kerouac? Pretty dark for you."

  "Dark is my style."

  Jasmine raised an eyebrow as she continued to read wondering why she chose to engage in any conversation with Tegan. She placed her bookmark on her current page and closed her book before walking over and sitting at her desk. Tegan bit her lip and smirked. She walked over to Jasmine and placed her cup of coffee in front of her.

  "I brought you breakfast. It also ties in with the good part of a morning."

  Jasmine stared blankly at the coffee before fluttering her eyes up at Tegan.

  "I don't drink coffee. I believe I told you that the last time you brought me it...and the time before that."

  Jasmine smiled thinly.

  "Everyone likes coffee. Don't let your rooted attraction for me that you try so desperately to deny get in the way of accepting free good coffee. Just take it, babe."

  Jasmine opened her book to where her bookmark was and avoided contact with Tegan. This girl had balls of steel.

  "Tegan, I told you not to call me that."

  Tegan gave her professor a smug smile.

  "Mmm. And why not?"

  "Because I'm a professor, and you're my student. That's highly inappropriate."

  "Oh come on. Enough with the act. I know you like it when I call you that."

  "No I don't—"

  "No? Okay well how about I call you Jasmine then? I mean, I'm so use to moaning that into my pillow at night..."

  "Tegan!"

  Jasmine's face turned a crimson color of red and she focused on not meeting eye contact with the younger girl.

  Tegan shrugged.

  "Just saying. It has a nice ring to it. Jasmine...Jasmine....Yes Jasmine....God yes, right there!"

  Tegan moaned in a sultry voice. Jasmine caught her coffee just before it spilled and dampened the pages of her book when she stood up haphazardly, adjusting the cup of coffee after she had so a second time so she could focus on something else.

  "Tegan,"

  Jasmine breathed.

  "Please have a seat."

  Tegan snorted as she walked to the empty desk in the front row and plopped down in it. Jasmine moved the coffee that Tegan ever so kindly provided her every day to the corner of her desk, out of the way so it wouldn't spill and make her life an even more miserable hell.

  "You didn't thank me for the coffee."

  Tegan mentioned with a smile.

  "I don't like coffee."

  "Well come on, everyone likes coffee."

  "Not me."

  "So what do you like then?"

  "Not coffee. Tegan,"

  Jasmine sighed.

  "Please have a seat. It's too early."

  Tegan sensed Jasmine's irritation with her in her tone and sulked lower in her seat, zipping her mouth shut. She was trying to be nice, that's all. Why didn't Professor Dennings see that?

  Jasmine couldn't wait for her other students to come in. The less harassment she got in the morning by Tegan, the better. It was ten o'clock on the head when the rest of Jasmine's class had stormed in. As class began Tegan would pick up on things. She would watch Jasmine, completely ignoring the lesson and instead watch how Jasmine talked. How she would walk to the right side of the room, taking three large steps, her high heels clicking the floor with every glide and then she would turn back and walk to the left. She did that as she read. Jasmine read with such enthusiasm Tegan wondered where it all went when they talked one on one with each other. She loved the way Jasmine smiled whenever she read a favorite quote of hers from the novel and how she would glance up at her class and explain why the quote had such a significant meaning to her. Jasmine was an excellent professor and Tegan was glad she changed her major to Professional Writing. Of course, she thought by now her and her professor would be past the strained conversations and cold coffee. Tegan pouted thinking of what went wrong as her class went by. Jasmine let them go some hour and a half later and Tegan met up with Peyton at their local coffee shop to confess her complicated love story...or lack thereof.

  "I just don't understand Peyt. What could possibly be wrong with me?"

  "I don't know Teegs. I mean, it may not be you. It may be that she's into men and has a boyfriend already."

  "Boyfriend?"

  Tegan cackled dramatically.

  "No, no, no. Have you seen Professor Dennings? I mean, come on. She's got lesbian goddess written all over her face...gorgeous face not to mention."

  "I honestly can't tell. There aren't really any signs."

  "True. I just—I want her to like me at least as a student, that's all. I want her to smile when she sees me, not grimace."

  "Then give her a reason to smile at you."

  Tegan leaned back in her booth and grinned.

  "Maybe I'll do that. You know you're really good at giving relationship advice, you should use some of our own."

  Peyton looked down awkwardly into her tea mug and stirred it with her spoon.

  "Fuck, that sounded really—I didn't mean to—"

  "No I'm fine-It's fine. I'll see you at practice?"

  Peyton stood up and grabbed her bag, strapping it around her shoulder before scurrying out of the coffee shop. It began to drizzle and Peyton tugged on her beanie a little more so it would cover her head. Practice started in an hour. She really didn't feel like going anymore. For what? Playing handball would always be a constant reminder of what happened and that was a pain that Peyton couldn't take. But at the same time, playing kept her busy. That didn't make any sense but Peyton's brain wasn't making much of any sense lately. She walked briskly back to her dorm room to change out into her training fear. She finished with twenty minutes to spare before practice started but decided to head to the court early and maybe get some Peyton time during those twenty minutes.


  THREE

  TEGAN cursed herself for being a complete and total ass with Peyton at lunch. She knew Peyton was probably dwelling on every single word she said to her so she decided to get her mind off of it and what better way to do that then talk about her complicated love life? There was probably several better ways but Tegan blurted it out before she finished her thought process.

  "Do you think professor Dennings hates me?"

  Tegan and Peyton were stretching their quads on the court aloof from their teammates as they discussed probable reasons why Jasmine would hate Tegan.

  "I think she wants to keep her job and you're hindering her from doing that."

  "By complimenting her?"

  "By harassing her."

  "Harass Peyton? Harass? I bring her coffee every day. That's hardly harassing."

  "You also throw suggestive comments at her—"

  "That she likes."

  Peyton began to juggle a ball, ignoring Tegan's nonsense.

  "I mean she has to like them."

  Tegan began to think out loud.

  "I am the total fucking package. What could I be missing? She's probably not acting on her feelings because her students would get jealous of our relationship."

  Peyton laughed.

  "When did you become such a narcissistic ass?"

  "When I realized that my professor likes me more than a student."

  "She doesn't even like you as a student."

  Tegan yanked Peyton's ball that rested on her hip and hit her in the face with it.

  "Dude, ow."

  Peyton rubbed her jaw, wincing in pain.

  "You're just jealous because—"

  Tegan's eyes flickered up at the sky as she tried to think of a plausible insult.

  "Because what? Professor Dennings actually makes eye contact with me?"