An End To The Distance Page 5

  "Don't lie to me. You did enough of that shit in our relationship. I am not some naive teenager anymore. I can handle the truth."

  Kat was taken aback and it showed by her opened mouth and raised brows. Peyton exited the locker room hoping Kat wouldn't follow her. Of course Kat didn't. She remained in the locker room, standing in shock. Out of all the scenarios she imagined her first encounter with Peyton to go, she did not expect that all. Peyton seemed different. So dark, so angry. After moments of getting herself together, Kat went to find Tegan in hopes that Peyton would be there as well but when she saw the smile on Tegan's face, she knew that Peyton had not been there.

  "Hey!"

  "Hey,"

  Kat breathed.

  "Um, I tried to talk to Peyton."

  "Did it go okay?."

  "She's angry. She has every right to be but I—I just need someone right now."

  "Okay. Well I don't think she's coming back home tonight so you can stay here."

  "Thank you."

  "Yeah."

  IT was eleven o’clock on a Friday night and the library was empty except for a few people studying by themselves and one group study going on near the front. Peyton sat in a corner in the back of the library at an empty table skimming through poetry books. She was up to date on all of her assignments and didn’t have any upcoming exams so there was really no point of her being there but she just needed to be with herself for a while and regain her composure. She walked around the library looking for a book that sparked her interest. Nothing. She had read everything with purpose. Everything left was just a bunch of nonsense. Peyton dragged her index finger across each book, skimming every one of them. Peyton was bored out of her mind and she didn’t know what to do. She walked out of the library and headed to the coffee house. It was a bit of a walk but Peyton had nothing but time on her hands. She sat down at her lonely table in the back and watched the coffee slowly start to slow down. Peyton was still in her uniform and felt filthy but she was so tired and didn't feel like walking all the way back home. So she leaned her head against the window pane, closed her eyes, and fell asleep.

  Peyton found herself in a deep sleep when she felt her shoulder being shaken.

  “Peyton?”

  Peyton woke up, seeing blurred lights and the smell of coffee beans hit her nostrils.

  “What?”

  Peyton groaned, still half asleep.

  “You’re sleeping. The restaurant is about to close."

  Peyton’s voice detector went off and suddenly she was wide-awake. She sprung her eyes open and tried not to look so startled, smoothing the hairs on her head down and standing up from the booth. She pushed her reading glasses further back on the bridge of her nose and blinked hastily, letting her eyes adjust. When they finally did, she stared at Kat. Her eyes were bluer than what she remembered. Her face looked the same. Except she was beautiful than ever. The innocence was gone and replaced with something Peyton couldn't put a name to. She blinked a little more, after her eyes had already adjusted just so she could get use to Kat’s face. She hadn’t seen her in so long, she was starting to forget all of the features that she praised for so long ago.

  That encounter with Peyton walking in on Kat and Tegan was anything but comfortable. After Tegan and Kat finished talking several hours later, Kat knew where she would be going next. She found Peyton sleeping peacefully in the coffee house. The reason why Peyton decided to go to Berkeley. Because the coffee house had a good vibe. Kat almost cried at the precious thought. It seems so long ago that her only care in the world was something so mundane. Kat stood quietly over Peyton, hoping she didn't look odd from another eye but my God, she looked adorable. Kat felt her knees go weak the moment she saw her and she didn’t even have to look into her eyes. She felt complete now that she had seen Peyton again. It had been too long since she had seen that gorgeous tanned face and Kat was ecstatic. Of course, reality came crashing in like a bitch and she suddenly remembered why she hadn’t seen that familiar face in so long.

  “You can go to your room and sleep if you want. I’m heading out.”

  Peyton stood up, yawned before collecting tea cup and walked out of the cafe not uttering a word to Kat. Kat smoothed her hair back, sighing in frustration. If Peyton walked away from her one more time, she would break.

  Unread Emails: 1, Subject: HIFK

  Kat’s heart stopped. This wasn’t spam was it? Or was this just an email saying her HIFK sweatshirt that she ordered had back ordered? Kat took in a sharp breath before clicking on the unread email. She skimmed the email quickly, wanting to get it over with before slowing down and reading carefully…four times.

  No fucking way.

  HIFK wanted her? They wanted her? Holy shit. Kat placed her hand over her chest and looked around to see if she was alive and if this was still Planet Earth. It was and she couldn’t have been happier. Kat immediately grabbed her cell phone to call her agent. She screamed into the phone when he said hello and he laughed at her.

  “Isn’t this great!”

  Kat beamed.

  “It sure is. I told you kiddo. All you had to do was be patient and work hard. Your ass is so impatient.”

  Kat giggled into the phone like the schoolgirl she was. She was too happy to come up with a snarky comeback.

  “I talked with them already and we need to discuss a few things. I’m coming over.”

  Kat hung up the phone and danced anxiously until she heard the doorbell rang. She sprinted downstairs and slid across the hardwood floor with her pink fuzzy socks to answer the door.

  “ I would hate to see you drunk.”

  Kat’s agent, Jorge pushed her aside and sat down on the couch, motioning for Kat to do the same. She jumped on the couch beside him and he laid out papers on the coffee table for Kat took look at and sign. She did so with ease and rocked back and forth, too excited to hold still.

  “God, this is so exciting! I can’t wait for Peyton to get home. I mean, she’s going to be thrilled. Oh, and by the way, can I get an apartment instead? With Peyton going to college in another country I think she would rather live with me than some stranger who only speaks Finnish.”

  Jorge gave Kat a stare that Kat was having difficulties reading.

  “What? What’s wrong?”

  “Peyton’s wrong. Sweetheart, this contract is for you and for you only. There’s no ‘Peyton’ to speak about."

  “Well, what, why not?”

  “Kat baby, you are just now getting the opportunity that millions of girls dream of. You need to stay under the radar; you can’t be making negative headlines of magazines about you and your girlfriend. I am fine with you being gay but a certain country isn’t and you don’t want to end your career before it’s even started right?”

  Kat nodded but not quite understanding what her agent was saying.

  “I guess…so wha-what are you saying?”

  “I’m saying this little life you had before. With your little surfer girlfriend, and open gay love, it’s not happening. You have to leave that all behind. I have a boyfriend for you; he plays handball too. His name is Orson; you’ll love him. The media will eat you two up.”

  Kat felt like she was going into cardiac arrest. One moment she was the happiest girl on Earth and the next, her world had been shattered. No Peyton? How does that even work?

  “Oh come on, don’t look so sad. You and that Peyton girl are young. It wasn’t serious Kat. You are an adult now; you have to start acting like one. You can’t let something like a little high school fling get in your way. You’re a professional athlete now.”

  Kat looked at Jorge in disgust and disbelief. She couldn’t believe the words that she was hearing. She had an option to be happy with Peyton or to live her dream. That was the toughest fucking decision she had ever made in her life. Peyton was the girl of her dreams. She wasn’t just some high school fling. Kat loved Peyton with all of her heart, she could see a future with Peyton and to think of a world without Peyton would be death to
Kat.

  “Our flight leaves at eight tonight. It’s a long flight, so prepare yourself.”

  “Hold up Jorge, I didn’t say I was going yet.”

  Jorge sighed heavily and ran his fingers through his hair.

  “Kat, we don’t have a lot of time. It’s either yes or no. And before you answer. Think about it. Handball career, or some girlfriend?”

  Jorge held up his hands as if he were to balance the two obviously making the handball career weigh heavier. Kat, being a naïve, and selfish eighteen year old went with the handball career and began packing. She dismissed Jorge, telling him she needed some time alone and to pick her up at six. She called Peyton only for her to hear her ringtone upstairs in her bedroom. Peyton had left her damn phone again. She was out at a game with her friends and probably wouldn’t be back for long. She needed to get in touch with her but time was ticking. She packed her belongings, which wasn’t much. Kat wasn’t much of a shopper. She put her suitcases at the door. She got a blank piece of paper and sat down on the couch grabbing an ink pen, beginning to write. Her vision became blurry as she wrote and her tears were staining the paper so much that she had to throw the paper away and grab another one. Her sobs became louder and her hand shook, making it unable to write properly. She threw the pen at the wall and threw her hands up in the air before crying. Kat lay face down in her pillow on the couch biting it hard, releasing a little bit of anger. She was sad, pissed, upset, and everything in between. She didn’t know if she was making the right decision or not and that pissed her the hell off. Kat got herself together after thirty minutes, rushing her cry and grabbed the fourth piece of paper. Her tears once again stained the paper but she gave up and instead let the tears flow as she wrote.

  Peyton, sweet Peyton

  EIGHT

  THERE is no place like home. The weather in Helsinki had several different mood swings, the coffee tasted bitter and the chocolate was entirely too expensive. Kat enjoyed her time playing handball in another country, learning the other language, meeting new people, and studying about the different culture but as the saying goes, home is where the heart is and for the past two years, Kat’s heart has not been with her in Finland. Kat dug her feet deeper, the soft grains of sand traveling through the crevices of her toes. She stared at the sun that was rising just before her eyes. After not being able to fall asleep all night, she drove to the beach to take her mind off things and get away from her complicated life. If only life was simple and had a book of do’s and don’ts. Then she wouldn’t be in this boat where her ex-girlfriend despised her.

  Ex?

  Kat cringed at the thought of that word. It just didn’t sound right when using it to describe Peyton. But for now, that’s just what she was. An ex. Kat stood up, dusting sand off of her pants and walked closer to the ocean. Her silhouette was still present, as the sun hadn’t reached its peak yet. She stepped in the ocean, letting the waves wash back and forth up against her ankles and sighed. It was just she and the sun. She was lonely. She didn’t have anyone else. She had not been in a relationship since…since Peyton and the body, heart and soul was going through withdrawal. Kat needed someone. She needed Peyton. When the sun rose high in the sky, it finally dawned on Kat that she needed to leave her peaceful spot and enter into the real world again. She looked at her phone and grabbed her blanket and flip-flops and hurried back to her temporary rental car. She was suppose to meet up with Tegan at this café with amazing coffee that Tegan has been nagging about before she went to her first class. She was happy to have coffee with Tegan but her eagerness came from the slight hope that Peyton might tag along.

  A girl can dream.

  NO such luck. After hearing that bell whenever someone entered or exited the café and Kat popping her eyes up like a puppy dog only to see that it was a stranger rather than Peyton, Kat gave up.

  “Peyton’s sleeping.”

  Kat dropped her eyes back to the table to look at Tegan with a raised brow.

  “Hmm?”

  “She’s not coming, hon.”

  Kat blushed. Was it that obvious? She stared into her cup of coffee and took the silver spoon, twirling around the hot liquid into large circles.

  “Oh…kay. So, um, this coffee is really great. I guess everyone was right.”

  “Are we really talking about coffee…while drinking coffee?”

  Tegan cut straight to the point.

  “What else am I suppose to talk about?”

  "How about explaining to me why you decided to move across the world without even a goodbye."

  Kat slid her coffee to the side of her and sighed.

  "Tegan, I---leaving Peyton...leaving you was the worst possible decision I could've made. I weighed my options, I did. I looked at the pros and cons and they all lead back to losing you and the love of my life forever. But you have to understand the opportunity I got, that wouldn't have ever come in my life again."

  "I do understand that but you didn't even explain to Peyton why you were leaving. You broke up with her by way of a note that you left on what? The fucking coffee table. Do you understand how fragile that left her? I'm gonna forgive you because you seem like you're in a really shitty place right now but Peyton...you need to fix that. You're better than that."

  Kat blew out a shaky breath on the verge of tears. She just needed to go back to her life before all of this drama happened. Going out on her own to an entire other country at the tender age of eighteen was terrifying. Kat wished several times that she could turn back time and make the decision of staying with Peyton, staying with her simple life, going to college and being a boring little girl in college. Not the face of women's handball. She thought she was making a decision that was best for everyone. She left Peyton because she just didn't deserve someone as good and pure as her if she was going to leave her anyway once something better came along. The same for Tegan and she thought that playing handball overseas would be better for her because the distance would make her stronger, clear her head, change her mind about it being the wrong decision but it only made her weaker, her thoughts constantly swirled fervidly in her brain and she still regretted ever going to Finland in the first place.

  "Hey,"

  Tegan reached across the table, touching Kat's hand softly, pulling her from her heavy thoughts.

  "It's going to be okay. You're going to be fine. Just...listen to your heart this time. I better go. I have class at nine."

  "It's eight twenty."

  "Yeah, I know."

  Kat chuckled and cocked an eyebrow.

  "I'll walk you."

  They got their coffees to go and walked outside the coffee house.

  "So when did you start drinking tea?"

  Kat had noticed Tegan had the warm cup of tea safely secured in the comfort of her hand and had not released it yet.

  "I didn't. It's for my professor."

  "You bring him tea?"

  "Her."

  Tegan corrected.

  "Oh...oh. Oh my god. Tegan, do you have feelings for your professor?"

  "Will you be quiet! She probably has secret TA's just following me. Someone could find out about us."

  "You guys are dating!"

  Kat asked, in disbelief. Tegan relaxed before returning her voice to a normal noise level.

  "Well, no. Not exactly. We're getting there. We are kind of that in that love hate stage right now."

  "Okay...how does that work?"

  "The feelings are there. It can't just be one sided but the anger that's directed towards be has me doubting otherwise."

  "You know, from personal experience you may be on the end of that anger but you aren't exactly what's causing it."

  Tegan was about to agree with Kat when she saw Jasmine laughing with Peyton through Jasmine's classroom window.

  What’s Peyton doing here?

  “Oh, you and Peyton are in the same class.”

  Kat stated matter-of-factually. She began getting goosebumps on her neck. She wanted to talk to Peyton
but she didn’t know it would be so soon. She wasn’t prepared. She needed time to get her words together, maybe even write down something on some note cards, but she couldn’t just do something in the spur of the moment.

  “No, she has Professor Dennings later this week. I don’t know what she’s doing here.”

  Tegan watched Jasmine as her face lighted up into a grin whenever Peyton said something. Jasmine didn’t grin. She wasn’t capable. Why could Peyton make Jasmine grin so easily without even trying? Tegan took in a deep breath and remained peeking through the small window in a trance. She would be lying if she said that in that second she was incredibly jealous of her best friend. Her temperature seemed to rise and her jaws automatically clenched, her eyes narrowed towards Peyton and she suddenly had an urge to do things that she would be put in an insane asylum for. Tegan walked in the classroom and put on a fake smile as her professor and best friend greeted her.

  “I’ll see you later Professor. Hey Teegs.”

  Peyton gave her a nod before walking out of the classroom only to bump into a familiar face she wasn’t expecting. Peyton did well of hiding her shock. Her facial expression remained stoic. Kat’s mind completely went blank and she swore her heart was coming through her throat. She stood there, facing Peyton, suddenly forgetting all of the English language.

  “Hey Peyton!”

  Kat practically yelled in her face. She tensed up. Kat paused and took a deep breath to clear her throat and to calm her nerves. She wiggled her fingers against her jeans.

  Breathe.

  “I was wondering if we could um, talk.”

  Peyton's posture is ramrod straight, and Kat is pretty sure that if looks could kill, she'd already be filleted.