An End To The Distance Page 10

  “Jassie. I’m so sorry. How are you holding up?”

  Jasmine was embraced in a hug by a large woman, causing Tegan to stumble back a couple of feet.

  “I’m okay.”

  Jasmine assured her in a soft, innocent tone that was barely recognizable as Jasmine’s. Tegan looked around the church, trying to find someone to engage into a conversation with rather than standing beside Jasmine dumbly, like a bum on a log while everyone talked to her and just pretended like Tegan was the usher.

  “I know this is tough. Losing both of your parents---”

  Tegan’s ears tuned back into Jasmine’s conversation. Jasmine had lost both of her parents? Tegan was soon interrupted by someone touching her shoulder. Tegan quickly turned around and was faced with a tall man dressed in a dark suit who appeared to be maybe a security guard.

  "Employees are over here, miss."

  "Oh, I'm not an employee."

  "Family?"

  "No, I am a--"

  Tegan paused, looking for the right word.

  "Friend."

  She said slowly, testing the word out on her lips.

  "of Jasmine's.

  "I do apologize ma'am."

  The man turned away and Tegan turned back to face Jasmine.

  “Yeah, I know. But I’ll be alright. I appreciate it Karen.”

  The woman whispered quiet blessings in Jasmine’s ears before giving her one last tight squeeze and turned away to greet the rest of the people in the church. Soon the talking had quieted down and everyone grabbed his or her seats when the pastor showed up. Jasmine sat in the first row and ordered Tegan with her eyes to sit beside her. So Tegan did. Tegan crossed her legs and smoothed out her black dress with her hands and watched as the pastor spoke. He talked about what a great man Mr. Dennings was, fighting that terrible battle of lung cancer, and being the strongest man he could be up until his final days. Tegan tried to tune out the pastor’s sermon. She wasn’t really into sadness and all of that. She hated funerals. They made her feel awkward and she always feared that she would do something that would cause uproar so she always skipped the funerals. Instead of focusing on the sermon, Tegan focused on Jasmine sitting beside from her. Her jaws were loose, instead of always being clenched; her soft pink lips inadvertently poked out into a pout as she listened to the sermon and she blinked constantly. Tegan nearly jumped out of her seat when Jasmine flicked her eyes over to Tegan’s and caught her right in the middle of her gawking. Tegan had the expression of an apology but Jasmine simply just stared at her with glossy eyes that looked lost inside, and turned her attention back to the sermon.

  AFTER locking the door to her condo, Jasmine threw her keys into the bowl in the kitchen and took off her wet trench coat not caring she placed it on the suede couch. Jasmine paced her living room floor three or four times before Tegan interrupted her.

  “Jasmine, I’m really sorry.”

  Jasmine shrugged her shoulders and looked everywhere in the room but into Tegan’s eyes. She couldn’t bear to do that.

  “You know what? I…I just need some alone time right now. You stay right here until I get back okay? Don’t leave.”

  Jasmine grabbed her keys from kitchen bowl and disappeared out the door. Tegan sat on Jasmine’s rather comfortable couch and sat up straight. She looked around, taking the view of Jasmine’s expensive condominium all in. What was she possibly going to do in her professor’s apartment? Tegan removed her high heels and placed them neatly in front of the couch before standing up and walking around the entire house. Tegan spent most of her time glancing at the many pictures there were hanging up. There was this one that stood out to Tegan. It was a picture of a young Mr. Dennings and Jasmine going fishing together. Jasmine looked around six years of age. They had matching smiles, and carried large bass in their hands. Another one was of Jasmine when she was a little younger, holding a gold medal in her hand. Her front two teeth were missing and it shattered Tegan’s heart to know that Jasmine would never smile like that little girl in the picture. Not today. Tegan decided to stop poking around her professor’s home and went to go sit back down on the couch. She looked over at the stove and saw that only four minutes had passed. Where in the hell did Jasmine go and why did she leave her all by herself in this foreign place? Tegan searched through movies of Jasmine’s to entertain herself but only found action films based off of killing; not really the mood Tegan was going for right now. Tegan grabbed the remote and flicked on the widescreen television to Netflix. She immediately clicked the comedy genre. She needed something to uplift her spirits. Tegan settled for a funny movie and grabbed the green blanket slouched over the couch sitting across from her and tucked herself in as she pressed start. The light tap of the rain outside, and the emptiness vibe that Tegan was getting from Jasmine’s home was enough to put her to sleep. Tegan tried to force herself to stay up, thinking it would be rude to sleep at Jasmine’s house giving she really hardly knew the woman outside of being her teacher but Tegan spent all of the previous night searching for the perfect outfit to wear to the funeral and debating on whether she was actually truly invited that she got a total of five hours of sleep. Tegan muzzled her chin into the amazingly soft blanket and found her eyelids getting too heavy to lift anymore.

  JASMINE sat in front of her father’s grave and picked up the mud that created puddles around her as the heavy rain fell on her head, coating her in a slick wetness. Maybe it was a little too cliché for Jasmine to be sitting there but Jasmine really didn’t want to be anywhere else except with her father. Jasmine took another long sip of her beer and swished it around her mouth before swallowing, hoping it would wash out the pain that had fulfilled her body. It didn’t do anything. The pain still remained, Jasmine just couldn’t think as clear.

  In Loving Memory of Jeffery Dennings

  Jasmine’s lip trembled and she buried her head in her lap, screaming and cursing at whoever took her father away from her. He was all she had and he was gone, so now what? Now fucking what? Jasmine had to live the remaining of her life lonely? Why not just die right then and there? Jasmine harshly ran her muddy fingers through her hair and screamed again, not knowing how to distribute her anger properly. Jasmine looked up to the sky when she heard the thunder clap. Maybe that was a signal that she shouldn’t spend all night here. She wanted to die but not by way of electrocution. Jasmine reluctantly stood up and wobbled to her car, her heels digging deep into the wet grass. Jasmine suddenly remembered Tegan and how she left her all alone and should hurry home. Jasmine then remembered that she was drunk and probably couldn’t operate a vehicle currently.

  “Fuck.”

  Jasmine slammed her car door and pulled out her phone, calling a taxi. Her head hurt from crying too hard and her mascara had filled the dark circles under her eyes. The taxi driver didn’t dare speak to Jasmine as she got into the backseat. When he got the call that he would be picking someone up from a cemetery, he knew it couldn’t be anything good. So the taxi driver kept his eyes on the road but listened as Jasmine quietly groaned in the background. Jasmine was so done. She just wanted to go home and see what Tegan was doing. The only good thing left in her life. Jasmine stumbled out of the taxi.

  “I um, I don’t have any money.”

  Jasmine slurred.

  “It’s okay, ma’am. It’s on me. I hope you feel better.”

  “Thanks. I hope you have a good life.”

  Jasmine closed the car door and walked up to her doorstep. She fiddled with her keys, trying to find the right one. She eventually tried the last one and the door clicked open. Jasmine found her house warm and cozy. But empty as well.

  She was here when I left.

  Jasmine’s one ounce of faith left was shattered. Even Tegan had left her. Jasmine began to sob a drunk sob. She threw her keys violently in the kitchen, completely missing the bowl and stormed upstairs hoping she could just sleep this pain away and feel better in the morning. Jasmine opened the door to her room and found her black comforter bun
ched up and wrinkled. She walked closer to her bed and gently rolled back the covers to find a sleeping Tegan. Jasmine looked around the room and saw Tegan’s heels and dress lying on the drawer. Jasmine then pulled back the covers again to see what Tegan was wearing and recognized her burgundy Stanford t-shirt that was long enough to cover Tegan’s knees. Jasmine smiled to herself before stepping into her bathroom to take a long hot shower. Her dress and stockings were filthy. She happily pulled them off of her and slipped into the steamy shower. Jasmine let the piping hot water sober her up a little and when she got out of the shower, she felt like a new person. Jasmine dried her hair and found a pair of striped boxers in her drawer along with her oversized t-shirt from Mexico and slipped them on before quietly crawling into her bed. Jasmine was close enough to hear Tegan snoring just the slightest. Tegan’s eyebrows were furrowed as if she was deep in thought in her dream. She hugged her knees with her chest and probably didn’t take up half of the bed. She was so tiny compared to Jasmine’s large bed. Jasmine pulled the covers up on her and closed her eyes, her wet eyelashes batting her cheekbones. Jasmine was incredibly tired to let it process that Tegan was laying right fucking next to her in her bed so Jasmine just sighed out loud and decided to react on that in the morning.

  FOURTEEN

  “I’M so full of shit. I’m just…the worst person on Earth and all the other planets in the sky. I should be sent to like a camp for people who are superficial and have shitty personalities. Camp Shit! That’s what it should be called.”

  Kat couldn’t help but giggle at her lame joke despite her depressing drunken rant about Peyton. She threw her head back to take another gulp of her Finnish beer that had no taste to it but was currently pleasing all of Kat’s taste buds.

  “Okay, I think we are done with this.”

  Kat’s older Finnish teammate, Francesca gently took the bottle from Kat’s wet lips and firm grip and placed it on the miniature nightstand that divided the two hotel bedrooms. The dim lamp rested on it, providing very little light, creating a dull and silent vibe throughout the quiet hotel room. It was at least three o’clock in the morning and Kat was pouring her wounded heart out to her teammate in a drunken seethe. The team had celebrated at a club near the hotel on their huge victory until the wee hours in the morning and that gave Kat an excuse to drink. She drank just about everything so she could still keep that happiness alive throughout her body. Anything to push her dark thoughts to the back of her mind. And it worked, until the party died down, the music stopped, and day turned into night which turned into the crack of dawn, the time where hidden thoughts now pushed to the front of the brain and any form of narcotics had worn off being too weak to keep the cement it hardened around the heart. Now Kat didn’t have anything to distract her from what she was really feeling so she sat on her bed, heart racing from the events she would reoccur when she spoke them.

  “Kat…”

  Francesca interjected.

  “Will you help me? Help me get enrolled to the camp? Maybe they teach arts and crafts and also how to get my girlfriend back.”

  “Kat, you’re going to be okay. The fizz has gone to your head. You need sleep. And when you have a wicked headache tomorrow and you’re in your right mind, we will discuss this serious matter.”

  Kat reluctantly let Francesca tuck her into bed and kiss her forehead goodnight. Stacy turned off the florescent light and closed her eyes saying a quick prayer for Kat.

  INDEED Kat did have a headache later that morning. She felt terrible and sick. When she woke up she groaned at the empty bottle sitting on the nightstand. It was the team’s day off but Kat had spent most of it asleep. It was quarter past one when Kat finally woke up and took a shower.

  “Thought you had died.”

  Kat grinned as she walked out of the bathroom, drying her hair. Kat and Francesca took a stroll down to the breakfast bar. Francesca suggested they take their coffee to-go and find a place with less chatting. They two women found themselves on a trail. The sky was cloudy and had an ominous threat for rain and most likely snow. Kat sipped her coffee and thanked whoever was greater than her for the invention of it. What would she be without coffee? Kat waited for Francesca to break the silence. She couldn’t really remember how her night ended. She tried to differentiate on which events actually took place and what was all in her head. She remembered the mentioning of Peyton, a lot of crying, and a shit camp? Kat prayed all of it was a dream.

  “So, last night…”

  “I’m sorry Frances. I shouldn’t have dragged you into my complicated life.”

  “No, it’s fine. I’m here to help.”

  “You’re cool with me being, you know?”

  “Of course. Do you not remember anything what I said last night?”

  “I’m really trying not to.”

  “Well If you did try, you would know about my secret girlfriend too. Kate ring any bells?”

  “Yeah! Well congratulations and your secret is safe with me in case I didn’t say anything before.”

  “You actually said the exact same thing the first time.”

  “Oh.”

  Francesca in a way was like Kat’s mentor. She was considerably older than Kat and looked at her as a younger sister, someone to take under her wing. Kat’s exterior may be the beautiful American girl whose face was on almost every Finnish publication in town but inside she was a deeply pained teenage girl that grew up too fast and was too naive to make life-threatening decisions. Of course playing the sport she loved had its benefits. When she would score a goal, and thousands of her fans would chant her name, Kat would smile and look into the crowd. Her smile then only faded when she searched the crowd and remembered that her number one fan would never be there, cheering her on. She couldn’t fully enjoy herself without Peyton. Both their souls had fused into one, Kat was longing for the rest of her soul. Kat decided to really listen to Francesca. It couldn’t hurt her more than she already was. Besides, Francesca was older, she knew the way of the world, her advice was much needed.

  “You love Peyton and you made a mistake. You’ve owned up to that mistake, and you are ready to fix that but maybe Peyton is quite ready yet. Your hurt her. You can’t put a time frame on how a person is going to get over something that has deeply hurt them. Maybe Peyton isn’t ready yet. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t forgive you or loves you any less; she just needs time.”

  “I’ve given her three fucking years, how long does she need?”

  Kat huffed and bit the lid of her coffee.

  “See, that’s exactly what I’m talking about. You’re too impatient, Kat. You need to wait. You can’t just say ‘I’m sorry I fucked up, let’s start over because I’m ready to regardless of your feelings.’”

  Kat pouted and looked at a blue bird that crossed her sight. She didn’t have any patience. Yes, that was a bad character trait to have but Kat knew that despite her many loving traits, deep down she was a true bitch. She hardly cared about people’s feelings and only cared about what was best for her. So no, she didn’t have patience to wait for some damn heart to heal and get ready.

  “This is so annoying! I just want her to be mine again. I love her and I miss her and I feel fucking lost without her.”

  The conversation was put on pause for a while and the two forwards walked the trail in a weighted silence. Kat slurped her coffee gone a little fast for her liking, and suddenly became disinterested in the dark trees and muddy pathway. Her jaw was clenched as she took in the beautiful sight in disgust. She was too upset to appreciate nature’s attraction right now. She had her own problems to worry about. The trees and mountains would do just fine without her.

  “Oh shit, it’s snowing.”

  Francesca pulled her beanie out of the back pocket of her jeans and slipped it on her head. Kat looked up at the unfamiliar substance and stuck out her tongue.

  “Ew, that’s gross.”

  “Oh, you guys don’t do that here?”

  “No, we wait until the secon
d batch of snow. It’s good luck.”

  Kat put her tongue back in her mouth and stuffed her hands in her sweatpants pocket. She felt the cool draft sneak into the exposed parts of her body. Francesca pulled Kat into a warm hug and kissed her forehead.

  “You’re so underdressed. Come here and snuggle with Frances the Big Bear.”

  Kat snuggled her head into the crook of Francesca’s neck, resting on her shoulder and they walked together back to their hotel.

  “You’ll be alright, okay? Everything will be fine.”

  Kat sighed in content with Francesca’s comment trusting that there was some truth to it.

  FIFTEEN

  PEYTON felt like this entire time she was drowning, that someone was holding her down and no matter how hard she kicked and screamed, trying to reach her head above water, someone kept pushing her down further. Peyton just wanted to be able to breathe; she wanted to take a deep breath and let the oxygen fill her lungs. She was tired of feeling like shit. Something needed to be done. Something needed to be done. Something needed to be-

  Peyton grunted when she woke up. She rolled over and saw that Tegan hadn’t showed up for the second day. Peyton looked outside her window and saw that the sky was a dark grey and it was slightly raining. A small, barely noticeable smile appeared on Peyton’s lips. Peyton was glad that Mother Nature had presented herself in Peyton’s favor. It hadn’t rained in months. Peyton slipped on her handball sweatpants and a red sweatshirt with a pair of running shoes; tied her hair into a high ponytail and off she was. She listened to soft steady music that matched the rhythm of the rain and shoved her hands into her pocket as she skateboarded to the handball court. The rain had stopped by the time she arrived but the grass was still damp. Peyton turned her music up louder in her ears so she wouldn’t have to listen to the annoying sound of her feet flicking a ball back and forth. She was in her zone, getting ready to beat her record of juggling when she felt someone tap her on the shoulder. Peyton trapped the ball and pulled her ear buds out of her ear. It was a Cole, a good friend of hers that she would spend time with outside of school.